What Is Special About Kindness and How to Develop it in Relationships?

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No matter how many fairy tales were written, and films were shot with different endings, but good and kindness still defeat evil. The same happens in life. We believe in that. Have you ever heard about Random Acts of Kindness Day that takes place in February? Such things remind us of the importance of being human. As they say, “Esse quam videri.” The Dalai Lama XIV says, “One should do good deeds, not just think about it.” To act is what matters. So, what is special about kindness?

Kindness changes the world

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Scientists who are engaged in positive psychology, say that many events in the world around us are in no way dependent on the efforts of individuals, and yet we greatly underestimate our ability to change the world for the better. Each of us can do that.

If each person who has been once helped by someone, helps three other people in turn, then all the people on Earth will receive someone else’s help in twenty-one “steps.” Good deeds create a positive vibe, spreading like circles on the water. This influence deeply affects the lives of people whom you have never even seen.

In our world, social connections are strong, and every action diverges in circles through time and space. The feeling of helplessness in the face of global problems is rooted in our belief that the contribution of an individual is a drop in the ocean. But if you find a way to do something good and “infect” other people — even very few — you can cause significant changes with it. Change the world for the better. Pay others for what has been done for you and inspire them to do the same.

You become happier, doing good

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Generosity and kindness are wonderful human qualities. They are very beneficial for bodily and mental health. The ability to share time, energy or money with people enhances the feeling of happiness and reduces the risk of depression, stress levels and has a beneficial effect on relationships with others.

It turns out that we feel happier when we are generous. When we give something to someone, our altruism activates the areas of the brain that are responsible for pleasure, communication with others and trust.

People who are actively engaged in philanthropic activities increase their self-esteem and strengthen their faith in humanity. The manifestation of kindness activates the production of endorphins in the brain. These biological reactions create a euphoric sensation of peace and happiness in a kind and generous person.

To be kind means to be a strong person

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Courage and respect help us become a strong personality. The formation of a personality requires considerable life experience, it becomes a result of past mistakes.

That is why building a strong character requires patience. People who start small and work on themselves every day, mindful of high principles, will certainly begin to spread their influence until they become samples of a true character and, as a result, mentors, and teachers for others. Such people become catalysts of change and transitional persons, capable of breaking the cycles of negative behavior in their families, organizations or communities.

Kindness is an act of giving

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Generosity, materially or spiritually, changes a person. For the most part, we tend to give, especially when it is convenient for us or approved by society. That’s the way things are. We are constantly giving away something, for example, time or energy. But when you spend time with children watching TV, surfing the Internet, or constantly thinking about problems at work, this is not a real act of giving.

The most valuable gifts have nothing to do with money. They are associated with deeply personal and emotional manifestations of the human soul: understanding, moral support, emotional closeness, and kindness.

It is very important to give and love when you cannot demand the same in return. That’s why giving is so difficult, but it is so important for personal growth. It is easy to be a giver when you need just to give some money. It’s completely another thing to invest time and mental energy in someone or something. It is much more difficult to give pure energy than money. Nonetheless, generosity changes everything around when it comes from the depths of the soul. And this is the most important.

Kindness is the path to originality

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The desire to help others helps the person themselves. This is a natural consequence of the originality. To stand out from the crowd, you should be able to share the experience. How can you get it? You can achieve this, doing good deeds. Do not be afraid to become attached to what will give you incentive and motivation. You can train with someone, attend painting classes, help animal shelters, or go on a charity mission to African countries. Over time, you will understand that you have gained a new experience, you can pass it on to others and become extraordinary, unlike anyone else, yourself.

Kindness helps in sales

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Honesty helps both in life and in business. In general, there is a rule about this category: try to live as if everyone around you knows everything about you, including actions, deeds, and even thoughts. You can imagine how everything is simplified when you know that you will be ashamed of what you want to do, or think about something, or doubt. Right after that comes a clear and unequivocal understanding of how to proceed. And everything becomes clear, you understand what is good and what is not.

It is profitable to live honestly, it is profitable to work honestly, it is profitable to sell honestly. And you could think that kindness and honesty have nothing to do with work, but it is not so.

Kindness improves relationships

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When you treat people kindly, relationships will work out on their own. What is the secret? You should remember that not everything revolves around you. “Everything” here means the world, day, conversation with a colleague at work, a traffic jam you are stuck in. You can make sure that not everything revolves around you if you believe that all the others are more interesting than you.

Try to ask questions. Sincerely. Wholeheartedly. If you ask people a question, most often, they will tell you a story that will shock you, make you laugh, or make you cry. There are many options. People will feel your participation and attention. If you behave this way if not all the time, then at least sometimes, you will see that relationships will become warmer.

How to Become Kinder: 10 Effective Tips

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Nowadays, you can buy almost anything. It is a pity that such quality as kindness cannot be found on the shelves. However, it can be developed like muscles. Below you will find ten effective technics that you will help you become kinder and happier.

  1. Develop the skills of empathy. Learn to read other people’s emotions and express your sympathy with simple words, “I understand you,” “I understand your feelings.” Even if you do it mechanically at first, you will gradually begin to feel that you really understand the other person.
  2. Put yourself in another man’s shoes. When you want to say something unpleasant in response to a harsh statement of another person, put yourself in their shoes for a second. Try to understand their state. Look at the situation from the side, like in a movie. This will help reduce the degree of irritation and respond more favorably.
  3. Train the muscle of kindness. Develop the best part in yourself, take care and attention every day. Sometimes this can be expressed in not noticing something and keeping silent in certain situations. Do not prove your point at every step! Be careful with advice, with wishes to get married faster, with empathy for a bad spouse. Statements like, “How do you live with them? I wouldn’t live in your place” leave for yourself. After talking with you, a person should feel easy, and not vice versa.
  4. Be grateful. Every day in the evening, write 3 thanks to those people who have helped you at least with something today: a smile, a word of support or just a candy. If you say that there is nobody to write to, it means that you have negative selective attention, you notice only the bad and ignore the good. Simply put, you are ungrateful.
  5. Give communicative gifts to other people. Give compliments, and you will see the whole palette of human experiences: from prideful acceptance to shy excuses and even refusal to accept your kind words. But do not stop the practice in this situation.
  6. Be kind to loved ones. We all know people who seem amazing for strangers and are real monsters for family members. The temptation to be kind in the eyes of others is very great because in this case, the “dividends” are higher, and there is more gratitude. It is more difficult to show similar feelings in relation to those whom you come across every day in the same kitchen and solve common problems. Nonetheless, you should still try to provide support, if necessary. Keep silent, instead of giving advice if the situation has already been overcome, and nothing can be changed. Turn a blind eye to some flaws. Do not get annoyed and do not break down at your relatives, even if the day was not easy.
  7. From negative to positive. Negative beliefs and attitudes take away our sense of strength and capabilities, and only a strong person can show kindness. It is very important to get rid of the depreciating and evil internal critic who constantly tells you, “Where are you going?” “What else do you need?” “I am a loser,” “Time has passed,” “I still won’t succeed,” “Nobody will help me,” “There are only enemies around,” “Such a person is not for you,” etc.

For each such phrase, you must come up with a positive alternative belief and write it down on paper. If you want, you can even use this list as wallpaper on your phone.

  1. Remember the cases in your life when you felt that you were treated kindly and with care. Make a list of such moments in chronology from the present to childhood. Then you can do the following exercise: sit down, relax the whole body (starting with the muscles of the face and ending with the muscles of the hands and fingers). Visualize those situations, enter that state. Watch your breath. It should be even and deep. Every day live 2-3 situations for 3-5 minutes.
  2. Do good deeds towards yourself. Everyday. Do not even allow yourself to be cruel to yourself.
  3. Surround yourself with kind people. If there are those around you who always blame, show aggression, humiliate and devalue you, then you will not have a resource for being kind. When a person is constantly in a state of emotional pressure, you waste your whole energy on overcoming, while anger and resentment will become your habitual feelings.

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